Fools in Love
by clockwork starlight
Summary: Valentine's Day piece, with a dash of IchiRuki, a hint of ShunNao, a sprinkling of drama and a whole lot of nonsense.


Well it doesn't make much sense… but I thought I'd do it for today anyway. Referencing the Valentine's Day omake chapter and the Shinigami Illustrated Picture Book for Episode 97. It came to me after the Latin test, but before the Mathematical Statistics one, so I only had an hour to flesh it out.

It doesn't make good sense and the flow is kind of nonexistant, but it's the gesture that counts, right?

I suppose it's a good thing I don't own Bleach.

* * *

Fools in Love

The red dawn found Ise Nanao perched on the roof, hands in her sleeves, feet primly crossed at the ankles, watching her division train. She was glad they, at least, took their responsibilities seriously. She felt the fluctuation of spirit power, and wondered why a gate had been opened. It hit her hard and she realized she wasn't the only one who knew what Valentine's Day was. Everyone in the Shinigami Women's Association knew. Kusajishi-fukutaichou had been moving to promote the festivities en masse on this side of death for several years now. Research revealed _why_ the president had been so excited about the idea. It was a day of pink and hearts and candy. Matsumoto-fukutaichou had learned about other connotations, but _she _didn't have the ability to _annoy_ Seireitei into celebrating it.

The peaceful murmur of familiarity was shattered not long after the presence of the gate by two strident voices getting closer and closer.

"How many times do I have to explain it to you, Rukia?"

"Fool! How can I understand it if there is no sense behind it!"

Of course, they had to have this discussion outside the Kuchiki estate and no where near the Division houses. There were too many captains who would not take to a shouting match very well. That they chose here was mildly troublesome. But it looked to be somewhat more interesting than watching shinigami beat each other.

"It makes perfect sense, moron!"

"Only if you have none to begin with!"

"Do me a favor, and just shut the hell up."

"Why, you—"

-----

"Ise-fukutaichou?"

"Yes?" The wispy shinigami looked familiar. Probably worked clerical capacities mostly, Nanao certainly spent enough time in and around the offices to know. She seemed a little too hesitant to be very confident in battle.

"W-would it be… That is to say… That is Kuchiki-sama over there, isn't it?" The poor girl couldn't even bring herself to look towards the racket.

"It is; her and the Kurosaki Ichigo."

"I-I was sent to tell her that Urahara Kisuke had already opened a gate, without permission but since it already disturbed the spirit force, they're going to keep it open… and-and Kuchiki-sama's request to visit the living world—"

"The paperwork seems rather unnecessary now, doesn't it?" She offered the girl a small smile. Narita Minako. That was her name. She remembered Sato-san yelling it and this timid little pixie answering to it, all stutters and apologies.

"Yes, Ise-fukutaichou," the trembling eased a little, Ise-fukutaichou was such an aloof person who tolerated all kinds of nonsense, one forgot that she could be just as kind when she wasn't demanding paperwork be done. "Should I… Should I bother Kuchiki-sama? I was told to tell her to be there within the half-hour. And it's a direct order but I don't think… I don't think I ought to right now."

Nanao looked at the pair of screaming children. So Kuchiki-san had been planning to go to the living world, most likely to do exactly what she was doing now. Only the boy had beaten her to it. Matsumoto-taichou would call this a 'romantic comedy'. Her hand fingered the box in her sleeve.

-----

"Will you shut your mouth, you pint-sized pain in the ass? All you have to do is say 'Ichigo! What a lovely surprise! I'm so glad to see you, it's a good thing I don't need to be rescued today!' in that annoying voice you use for Keigo."

"Why would I do something stupid like that?" Nanao wondered if the pink on Kuchiki-san's face was anger or embarrassment.

"Because it's Valentine's Day!" Perhaps it was a female problem, but Nanao didn't understand what that had to do with anything any more than Rukia did.

"That has absolutely nothing to do with this!"

"It has everything to do with it, dumbass! Your gift to me is to at least _pretend_ to be happy to see me!"

Now that he'd finally said it, he seemed to realize just how strange it sounded. He was nearly the same color as his hair. Kuchiki-san didn't seem to be much better off, Nanao noted. She couldn't remember ever being so silly.

-----

"Ise-fukutaichou?"

"I'm sorry, I was distracted." She returned her attention to the girl twisting the edges of her sleeves in nervous anxiety. She wondered how on earth she managed with Hollows. All shinigami had at least some experience with them. Was the Eighth Division Vice Captain so scary? She couldn't think how… she might be a _little_ intimidating and hard to talk to, but everyone managed.

"W-what should I do? I was _told_ to tell her but I don't think she—"

"If you are asked, Narita-san, please tell your superior that Ise Nanao overrode his instructions and ordered you to return, without informing Kuchiki Rukia. Also, that I have recommended that her request to go to the living world be postponed one hour. She will probably want to go as soon as she… clears up the matter at hand."

So it wasn't just Kyoraku-taichou whose eyes could turn to watery pools in half a second flat.

"Thank you, Ise-fukutaichou! You're so kind. But what if he files a complaint! I _couldn't_ let Ise-fukutaichou get in trouble over my indiscretion."

"It shouldn't be any trouble at all, but even if he does, it's only a little more paperwork."

"Oh but—" "My Nanao-chan is soo cute when she's romantic!"

"I'm not your—" "_Kyoraku-taichou!_"

Her Captain's sudden appearance had turned the girl two shades paler than healthy. Hopefully she wouldn't get a heart condition as a result of this. She wasn't sure whether to include a sudden unholy terror of Kyoraku-taichou in that category or not.

"Please tell your superior officer that Ise-fukutaichou's petition was made at my behest."

"Y-yes sir."

He smiled lazily at the poor, shaking shinigami, who practically flew in her effort to leave.

"You scared her." She remarked, looking back toward the morning's first drama.

"Are you sure that wasn't you?"

She didn't reply. Kuchiki-san appeared to be beating Kurosaki over the head with something vaguely rabbit-shaped. Possibly her gift to him? She hoped it was sturdy enough to survive the abuse. It _would_ be a shame if the efforts of both romantic fools were lost because they couldn't be in the same place for five minutes without arguing.

She sighed and pulled the box out of her sleeve and held it out to her captain, gazed firmly fixed on the fleeing orange head and the rabbit being brandished close behind.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Kyoraku-taichou."

"For me? Nanao-chan is so adorable!" He took it from her with a reverence belying the exuberant cooing.

She wasn't holding her breath. She wasn't. She didn't _care _what he thought about it. So he was going to make her life a little unbearable until something else distracted him, she'd get by.

"Nanao-chan, your handwriting is terrible."

"_What?_" She whipped her head around to stare at him. It had taken her ages to write the characters onto that stupid chocolate. Had it gotten smeared without her noticing?

He held it out, but she couldn't see a stroke out of place.

"Kyoraku-taichou…"

"This first character doesn't look like 'love' at all! Were you so distracted by thoughts of me that—"

Her fingers clenched around a bookspine that wasn't there. She forced herself to breathe evenly as she bit out her next words.

"Please shut up sir. It's too early for you to be awake. You should get in more sleep if you are to be of any use to me later."

Such a precious gift, and so characteristically practical. Nanao-chan knew him so well. He'd have to talk to Matsumoto about finding her another 'sexy outfit' in return.


End file.
